S3 Ep06 - Overcoming Procrastination

Welcome to the Zen Habits podcast, where we dive into how to work with uncertainty, resistance, and fear around our meaningful work. This is for anyone who wants to create an impact in the world and cares deeply enough to do the work. I'm your host, Leo Babauta, creator of the Zen Habits blog.

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Okay, so in this episode, we are going to be talking about overcoming procrastination. This is a big topic, as you might know, because procrastination is something that so many of us want to overcome, to deal with, to finally be rid of.

In this episode, I'm going to talk about how to understand the roots of procrastination. We're going to talk about some mindful techniques to combat that procrastination, building habits to stay motivated, and then coming back to this practice when you've fallen off and the importance of that. Okay, so that's what we've got for you this episode. Let's dive in.

So, procrastination. Before we get to the roots of it, you know, I'd love for you just to reflect. Like, is this something that's present for you? Are you someone who struggles with procrastination? Another way to think about procrastination is avoidance. We're avoiding something that we're feeling something about because procrastination just feels like, "Ah, it's this thing that I am. I'm a procrastinator. I suck."

But actually, what we're doing is we're avoiding something that has some fear, some resistance, something difficult for us. Maybe it makes us feel overwhelmed. Maybe we're afraid that we're going to fail or look bad or just do a terrible job at it. So it has some kind of fear, some kind of uncertainty, some kind of difficult emotion in it. And so we avoid it.

I think that's actually a useful thing to think about. Rather than procrastination, which is just a judgmental word, avoidance can also be a judgmental word, but it's a human thing to avoid things that we're afraid of, right? We all do that. So maybe we can have a little bit of compassion as we think about this thing that we all do.

And so, if we talk about the roots of procrastination, what we're really looking at is: what are we avoiding? If the thing that we are procrastinating on is something that we want to avoid, then why? What is it that we're avoiding? And I've already kind of touched on it, but what we would say is that there is some kind of bad outcome that we're afraid of, that we think is dangerous, right? I'll give you a few examples so you can see what I'm talking about. So the roots of procrastination are the roots of our avoidance, okay?

One example is, let's say I have a big paper to write, right? I need to write a paper, and it's big, it makes a big impact on my grades. Let's say I'm in college, right? So I have this big paper to write, and I've been putting it off for weeks, but it makes a big impact on my grade. And, I don't know if I'm going to do a good job at it. If I knew I was going to do a really good job, then I'd be like, "Oh yeah, no problem. I'm going to just sit down and crank it out." But I'm not sure if I'm actually going to do a good job. So I'm going to feel some uncertainty about that, like, "Ooh, am I going to do a good job?"

That's one thing. I don't know how I'm going to do with it. I don't know maybe how to do it exactly. I don't have all the steps written out, and it's not really clear to me. Maybe I don't have the skills or the knowledge. There's some kind of uncertainty about how to do a good job with this.

That's one really important element—there has to be uncertainty. If this is something that we know how to do, like I'm just going to wash my coffee cup out, well, I know how to do that. I've done it thousands of times. So I can do that with a lot of confidence. Of course, there's still uncertainty there—maybe I'll crack the cup, but I'm not too worried about it because I've done it so many times before that I have a lot of trust in myself and a lot of confidence and certainty. This is an easy task that I know how to do. I'm pretty sure how it's gonna turn out—a clean cup that's wet. Okay, so there has to be uncertainty there. All the tasks that we avoid have some kind of uncertainty.

The second thing is that it has to have uncertainty, and one of the uncertain outcomes has to be something that really impacts our ego and our identity. I say ego without any judgment. We all have a way we view ourselves, that we want to be viewed as—to ourselves or others. We're worried that this is going to impact that.

So in the example of this paper, not only do I not know how the paper is going to turn out—am I going to do a good job or not?—I don't know how to do it, so there's uncertainty there, but failing at this paper is going to impact my identity in some way. Maybe others are going to see that I'm not good at this.

Maybe it's a subject that I want to be seen as good at. Let’s say it was English, right? I want to be seen as good at English for some reason. So I'm worried that this is going to turn out in a bad way, and that's going to impact how others see me with regards to this subject. Not only is there uncertainty, but I'm also going to have fear about how it's going to turn out.

That was one example, but we have countless examples. If I do this and it turns out badly, I’m worried people are going to see me as a bad parent, right? They might not think I’m smart, and I want people to think I’m smart. They might not think I’m competent, and I want them to think I’m competent. They might think I’m lazy, and I want them to think I’m a hard worker.

We have a way we want people to see us. And then, one of the uncertain outcomes will negatively impact that. And it's not just how others might see us—it's how we see ourselves. If I want to think of myself as smart or competent or a hard worker or strong and capable, not needing others, independent, self-sufficient. And if I somehow fail at that, then I might see myself in a bad way, and I don't want to. None of us want to see ourselves in a bad way.

So, this is the root of procrastination and avoidance. We are facing a task that has some uncertainty, probably a pretty decent degree, and it will impact our identity in some way. We will be seen as something bad.

I used the example of a paper, but actually sometimes it's just like responding to a message or an email. It might be a small thing like that, like responding to this email. It takes me two minutes, but I don't know how the other person is going to perceive my email response. In fact, they might see through the way that I'm trying to perform. They might see through the way I'm pretending to be and see that I'm actually not as smart, capable, hardworking, or strong as I'm trying to project.

It's not that we're all just pretending and we’re not smart or capable. It's that we are actually trying to prove something to others or to ourselves or both. I'm trying to prove my smartness, trying to prove how capable I am or knowledgeable or whatever. And by trying to prove these things, we risk failing at it and being shown to be otherwise, again to others or ourselves or both. That is the root of procrastination and avoidance. It's in every single thing that we do.

So understanding that is really the key to how to work with this. Because what people try to do is they try to just tackle the action. "You're not doing your work? Here's how you make yourself do your work." Well, that approach is basically coercion.

When someone's like, "I just need to get freaking focused and disciplined and get on top of things and follow this new system or technique or plan," they're really saying, "All I need to do is coerce myself into it. I need to shame myself, beat myself into it. I need to force myself. I need to be freaking disciplined every day. I'm going to wake up and shower in cold water and drink something really terrible tasting, do this really hard meditation and do this hard workout, and I’m going to be super disciplined. Then my whole life is going to be disciplined, and I’m not going to have any procrastination."

I'm being a little bit extreme and facetious with those examples, but actually, those are not that extreme for some people. That’s exactly the approach that people are taking. And the idea there is “If I can get really hard on myself and force myself to do everything, then I won’t procrastinate anymore.”

And, to some degree, that works. We can force ourselves to do a lot of stuff—until it doesn’t. We can't force ourselves to do everything all the time, forever. There’s only so much forcing that we can do, and eventually, we're just going to stop. You might already be in that place where you’ve stopped forcing yourself, and you're just tired of forcing yourself. We don't say it that way, but that's actually what we're feeling.

So we’re just like having a really hard week, month, or year because we can't force ourselves forever, right? Trust me, I’ve done a lot of forcing. I forced myself to run several marathons and a 50-mile ultra marathon. I'm not saying that to brag, but I know what forcing is like. It’s painful, it’s hard, it's exhausting, and eventually, you reach the limit of it.

When people run marathons or ultra marathons, they rarely reach the limit of what their body can do. They reach the limit of what their mind can force them to do—how much pain their mind is willing to force them to take. So, if you stop running in an ultra-marathon, it's not because your body can't do it, rarely. I mean, once in a while, we’re actually injured, but most of the time, your body could probably go twice as long as you’ve gone. But your mind can't force you to go through that much more pain. So there’s a limit.

So, if forcing ourselves is of limited use (again, I’m not saying it’s of no use; I think we could actually use that to some degree), then what are some other ways to tackle this? We're going to talk about some mindful techniques.

The first one is just to recognize, "Oh, I have some resistance. I'm avoiding right now." We don’t want to recognize we’re doing it. We try and tell ourselves a bunch of stories or rationalize things and say, "Oh, it’s totally fine. I can do it tomorrow." There's some truth to it, of course—every lie we tell ourselves has to have some truth so it can seem legitimate—but actually, it's a lie. We're lying to ourselves.

Yeah, of course, you can do it later. Of course, you can do it tomorrow. Of course, you're busy. Of course, all of these things. But what you're really doing is you're saying, "I'm not actually having resistance here. It’s just okay to do it later." But let's be really honest with ourselves. You are feeling some fear, some uncertainty, some resistance, and some avoidance. So be really honest with yourself.

This is not about beating yourself up. This is not about guilting yourself or shaming yourself or making yourself wrong for what you're doing or not doing. It's just about being honest. "I am feeling some fear here. I'm feeling some resistance. I'm avoiding." If you could just do that, you’re already ahead of the game.

When I talk about mindfulness, this is just bringing awareness to what's actually happening. If you can recognize that, now you can actually do something else. Recognize, "I have resistance. I have fear. I have avoidance right now. In this moment, I am actually avoiding something." Okay, great. Now you've done that, what else?

By the way, you can practice that all day long and start to notice, "Oh, there are four things I’m avoiding today. Look at my email inbox. It’s full of things I’m avoiding. My task list? Full of things I’m avoiding." I'm feeling fear and uncertainty about all of those things. You don’t even have to identify what the fear is. It's just recognizing that it’s there—it’s just fear.

Okay, so what can we do after that? First of all, we can pause for a moment. It’s like a little meditation where you just notice, "What does that fear, resistance, avoidance feel like in my body?" If you notice it, it’s a tightness, and sometimes a tenderness. If we just notice that, it’s a tightness and a tenderness. Tight, like your body clenches against the fear, like, "I don’t want to do it." And then there’s a tenderness underneath that, like, "Ooh, I’m not sure if I can actually do this or if I’m going to be seen as a good person or not."

We can just be present to that. If you can, just breathe and even give it a little bit of kindness or friendliness—again, you can imagine that this is like a little kid who’s scared and you just want to give them a warm, loving hug. That's all they need—just a warm, loving hug. We're doing that too with this feeling in our body.

So you can do that, just for a moment. Then next, once you’ve done that, just turn toward the task and try and see what the opportunity is here. What's the possibility of doing this email or this task that you really want? Why is this even on your list? What would be amazing about this? Because we look at the uncertainty, we look at the negative outcome of, "This is going to make me look like I’m weak, lazy, or stupid," and there’s truth to that. But that’s actually not as consequential as the possibility of what could happen.

I could actually not just prove myself strong, smart, capable, or whatever, but I could actually help someone here, and that's worth risking my identity. In fact, if I just embrace that sometimes I am lazy, sometimes I am stupid—I'm not always smart, right?—then I can embrace it. There’s actually multitudes in me. There's a wide range of possibilities in me.

Sometimes I am weak. I can be weak. Just admit, sometimes I am all of those things. And sometimes I’m strong and smart and capable and all of that. I'm all of that. And sometimes I might not be the way that I want to be, but that’s part of who I am. So we can just admit that, yeah, we contain all of that and be present to the possibility.

These are some mindfulness techniques that we can use to actually deal with avoidance and fears and uncertainties. But there can also be some techniques that help. So, these are the habits that I would encourage you to have.

The first habit that I have is, when I’m resisting something, I recognize it and then I make a commitment to someone else. I make a declaration. I make a commitment that I will finish this by a certain date—maybe by the end of today, maybe by the end of tomorrow, by the end of this week, or by the 15th, whatever it would be. I make a commitment to someone else, and then I hold myself accountable.

So I would highly recommend that you hold yourself accountable—make a commitment and hold yourself accountable. Even if you fail, just own up to it. If you do that, if you hold yourself accountable and make commitments, you will start to move through your resistance. It's not that you're not going to have resistance, but you'll move through it.

Another technique I use is focus sessions. So, actually getting on a Zoom call with someone for an hour, let’s say, with one or more people, and saying, "Here’s what I’m going to do this hour, and I’m going to focus on that for this hour." Maybe it’s one or two things. Then that person tells me what they’re going to do. We go on mute, we work for the rest of the hour, or half an hour if that’s all you have, or an hour and a half if you want to, or two hours. By the end of the session, we get back off mute, and we check out and say how it went.

So, this is a focus session. I have this in my Fearless Living Academy. We have focus sessions—practically more than one every day. If you want a built-in focus session, you can come and do this with us. I lead one every Thursday that you can join me in, but there are other people who lead other ones, and I sometimes join those as well. So, focus sessions would be another habit or technique you can use.

I also do daily accountability. I’ll make a short list of what I want to do each day, and at the end of the day, I tell my team or my coach or someone who I’ve committed to how that went. That would be another thing that really helps.

The final thing that I do is, if I’m really resisting something, if I have this big resistance, I cut the thing into really small chunks. Maybe just five or ten minutes of it. I say, "All I have to do is five minutes, and then I can take a break and reward myself with whatever it is I wanted to do—a YouTube video or whatever." So I do five minutes, I do the YouTube video, and that makes the next five minutes easier to start on because I’ve just done five minutes.

Through this, I make the resistance go down, and it becomes easier and easier to do it. So I do five minutes, maybe I do five or ten minutes the next time, maybe I do ten or fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, and all of a sudden, I’m moving through my resistance.

Okay, the last thing I want to share is about coming back when you’ve fallen off. If you're someone who is usually really good at this—you're really moving through all of your resistance and being productive—and then you fall off and have a really bad week, let’s say you just have a really bad week, which, you know, I did last week, actually. Last week was unproductive. I had a lot of resistance, for whatever reason. Maybe there’s a lot going on in my life.

When that happens, you recognize it, and then you can start again. All you want to do is just start with a blank slate. Forget about last week. Maybe there’s stuff about last week that you need to process, or maybe there’s some learning from that. Great. But then start fresh, with a day-one kind of mindset. So it’s just like, "I’m starting today."

And from this, what you want to do is just say, "Okay, what would I like to do this week? If this week could be amazing, what do I want to do today to make a good start towards that?" Really get off to a good start. And, again, use the five-minute technique, which is, "I’m going to do five minutes, take a break, five minutes, take a break." Eventually, you're moving through your day really well.

Another thing that helps with that is to talk to other people about it. Just let them know, "Ah, last week was hard for me. I was facing a lot of resistance, doing a lot of avoiding, and this week I’m really going to try and start again." Let yourself have that almost New Year’s resolution energy, like, "I’m starting again, and I’m feeling excited about it."

If you can let yourself have that, it becomes easier and easier to get started. That's a skill you can practice—just keep coming back when you've fallen off. It’s not that you should have kept going; it’s that, "Oh, I get to practice coming back."

Okay, that's what I've got for you today. I hope that was helpful. If you have any questions, please let me know at [email protected], if you're listening to the audio version of this, or put them in the comments on YouTube if you're watching the video version of this.

Great being here with all of you. I will talk to you later.

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